Messy Motherhood 04: Strengthen Your Marriage with This Weekly Routine Staple
- Stephanie Booe
- Jun 18
- 6 min read
Favorite Rhythm in Marriage
This week, join Stephanie at her kitchen table to chat about one of their weekly routine staples: The weekly meeting. This has been something that’s been so impactful for Stephanie and Alex’s marriage, especially with having kids in their life. The weekly meetings have helped make life run smoother and improve communication between Alex and Stephanie as well.
Setting the Tone for the Weekly Meeting
Once a week, typically on Sunday nights, Stephanie and Alex will prioritize putting the kids to bed a bit earlier and then meet at the kitchen table for their weekly meeting. Whoever comes down first after putting the kids to bed will gather the home planner and the beverage of choice for the night. Sometimes this looks like hot tea, other times this is a tart cherry mocktail, and some nights there may even be a little dessert. Having a special little drink or sweet treat for these meetings helps make it fun and something to look forward to. Once the meeting is ready to begin, Stephanie and Alex will begin by praying. This is really important to them as they ask God for discernment for their week ahead and for Him to open their eyes and see other people that they’re able to serve throughout the week.
Operating Out of Oneness
This may not be the sexiest conversation you have with your spouse, but it is important. Stephanie has found that when you operate out of oneness, out of the same mindset, then you and your husband will feel more connected, which in turn does boost intimacy– not just sex, but intimacy within your relationship. When you’re working together as a team to work on building your life together and planning and preparing your life together, it does make you feel connected and closer.
Non-Negotiable
Locking in the details of your weekly meetings is really important. If you choose to have a spontaneous revolving appointment for your weekly meeting, then you’re probably going to forget about it or fall off of that routine. Having consistency here is huge. Blocking off that time, making it a non-negotiable and really prioritizing that time to make it happen. It’s a game changer. This is a team effort, it’s not all on one person to remember that “hey, we have our meeting tonight”, it’s up to both people to remember and prioritize it. If you’re traveling, or you’re not at home, you can do this in the car! Stephanie shares how she and Alex have had their weekly meetings in the car many times. You just have the conversation while one of you is driving and the other is taking notes or writing in your home planner. Don’t let vacation or traveling trip up your routine.
Planners to Use
Alex really likes to have his calendar on his phone where they can share the calendar and both update it with events. They use the app called Time Tree and it’s been very helpful. However, Stephanie prefers pen and paper, so for her, getting a really big calendar from Target, Amazon, or WalMart is helpful too. With this version, you can hang it up somewhere you’re both passing every day so you don’t have to continue to ask each other questions that you’ve already discussed, because now everyone can go to the calendar to find the answer. A couple years ago, Stephanie found a planner that has been a complete game changer for them – the Home Planner by Passionate Penny Pinscher. This planner breaks down your chores, your meal plan, your cleaning schedule, day by day. It’s packed full of resources and it’s been so helpful for Stephanie. This isn’t something they hang up on a wall, but they leave it open on the counter where they can still easily access it every day. Also, the money planner for the budget section of the weekly meeting is also really helpful.
Breaking Down the Weekly Meetings
Before diving into what’s actually discussed during the weekly meetings, let’s put an emphasis on the details. The more detailed you are, the more you’re setting yourself up for success during the week. You don’t want to blow through the meetings just to get done with it. Invest the time now so that you don’t have to do it later in the week and so that you don’t have any miscommunications that lead to frustrations later on.
Below you will find a list of what is discussed at Stephanie & Alex’s weekly meetings, but feel free to take this as a place to start. If a topic doesn’t work or apply to you, that’s okay. Add what you need, and take out what you don’t. Make it fully customizable to your life and your needs as a family.
The first thing that Stephanie and Alex discuss is their schedules for the week. What events are happening, what may require childcare, who’s going to have the kids for a certain day, etc. At that point, they send a text to whoever they are asking to cover childcare, just so that it’s done and set up for the week. If you already have a preplanned event, this is when you’d write that on the calendar and make sure that you’re both aware about it.
Once the schedule is figured out, the next topic discussed is the weekly meals and who is doing the grocery shopping. Alex and Stephanie will make the grocery list together and make sure that the meals for the week are taken care of.
Then the big conversation occurs – the budget. Making sure that you are both in the know on your finances is huge, and it may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s so much easier to do it when you do it more often and you both have a good understanding of what’s happening. Stephanie and Alex like to use the Money Planner and this has helped them guide the conversation, make financial goals, and enhance their budget and overall conversation surrounding it.
While weekly date nights feel impossible for Stephanie and Alex right now, they do try to fit it in when they can. When this happens, they discuss this during the weekly meeting and by the end of it, they know exactly who’s planning it and who’s going to find childcare.
Another aspect of the meeting is figuring out when they can schedule in family fun. Maybe it’s a Saturday morning breakfast at the Farmer’s Market, or maybe it’s a baseball game during the week, but they try to figure this out during the weekly meeting and then continue the conversation throughout the week to really figure out what the details are.
For Stephanie and Alex, pouring into their community is really important to them, so this is also a discussion during the weekly meetings. Who are they going to be praying for during the week and who are they going to be pouring into during the week. Figuring this out, setting the time aside, and then also who’s going to have the kids during this time is all part of that conversation.
Life Happens, What if the Meeting Gets Skipped?
Life happens and sometimes your meeting may not happen. But Stephanie has said that it’s obvious that they feel disconnected when they don’t have their weekly meeting. They don’t feel aligned, they fight more, and they feel like passing ships in the night. Things happen for sure, but Stephanie encourages you to stay consistent with the rhythm of a weekly meeting.
What Happens if Your Spouse isn’t into Weekly Meetings
Stephanie encourages you to have an open conversation with your spouse and just say, “hey, this is something that I’d really like to implement. What do you feel like would make this something fun for you so that you could hop on board?” Asking for their input on how they can be a part of this can be really helpful.
This Week’s Takeaway
Talk to your spouse about a weekly meeting. See if they’re on board and maybe even send them this podcast episode! If they’re all in, Stephanie encourages you to find a few solid resources and get started.
LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE:
Keywords:
Weekly Meeting, Marriage, Family Life, Sunday Night, Ritual, Connection, Planning, Prayer, Digital Calendars, Physical Planners, Logistics, Communication, Intimacy, Date Nights, Support, Community, Consistency, Experimentation, Teamwork, Conflict Reduction
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